correction in essay on the reunion by John Cheever

need help in improving the essay

I currently received 82% for the paper attached below, need help in getting 90% or above  

the teachers comments say that I need to focus more on the themes related to the story instead of paraphrasing it so much 

instructions and 1st draft of the essay is attached below 

 link for the story

some good content on the themes can be found here 

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